Cassowary Combat Rashguard – Limited Edition Made-to-Order Preorder
"Australia's Most Feathered Grappler"
Answer the call of the wild with our Cassowary Combat Rashguard, a tribute to Australia's original submission expert. Standing 6-7 feet tall with 15cm dagger claws, this living dinosaur doesn't need jiu-jitsu – it invented the concept of "shit kicking" millennia before humans discovered guard passes.
Made-to-Order Exclusive:
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Limited production window – once orders close, these disappear faster than a tourist in cassowary territory
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Each piece crafted fresh after ordering for premium quality
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Allow 3-4 weeks for production and shipping
Built Like the Bird It Honors:
✓ Heavyweight lycra – tougher than a cassowary's stare
✓ Military-grade 5-thread flatlock stitching – survives rolls and rogue kicks
✓ UPF 50+ protection – Queensland sun approved
✓ Unisex athletic cut (XS-XXL) – consult size chart for perfect fit
✓ Moisture-wicking technology – because even dinosaur birds sweat
Why This Rashguard Rules the Food Chain:
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Thicker material that withstands actual clawing (tested on blue belts)
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Stays put during explosive movements
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Looks intimidating during competition stare-downs
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Limited edition bragging rights
Warning: Wearing this may result in:
• Increased leglock attempts
• Suspicious looks from training partners
• Unexplained urge to sprawl on sight
*"6 feet tall. 12-inch reach. 0 chill."*
