Cassowary Australiana MMA Shorts
Regular price
$71.95
Sale
Cassowary Combat Rashguard - Limited Edition Australia Day Preorder
"Nature's Original Leglock Specialist"
Celebrate Australia Day with the most feared feathered fighter of the Far North - our Cassowary Combat Rashguard. While everyone else is honoring kangaroos, we're paying tribute to the 6-foot-tall, dagger-clawed dinosaur bird that invented the concept of "shit kicking" millennia before BJJ existed.
Preorder Exclusive:
Available for limited time only - production run will be as short as a cassowary's temper
Deadly Design Features:
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Razor-sharp claw motifs (purely decorative... mostly)
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Dense rainforest camouflage pattern
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"Consider Yourself Warned" back neck print
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Available in unisex adult (XS-XXL) and youth (YS-YL) sizes
Built to Survive the Mat Jungle:
✓ 550GSM reinforced fabric - because cassowaries don't do light rolls
✓ Elasticized gusset for maximum kicking range (offensive or defensive)
✓ 5-thread flatlock stitching - stronger than a bird that survived the Cretaceous
✓ UPF 50+ protection - Queensland sun approved
✓ Anti-odor treatment - because even dinosaur birds appreciate hygiene
Why This Rashguard Rules the Food Chain:
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Thicker material that withstands actual clawing (tested on blue belts)
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Range of motion that would make a cassowary jealous
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Youth sizes available - start them terrorizing early
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Looks intimidating during competition stare-downs
Preorder Notice:
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Allow 3-4 weeks for production and shipping
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Final designs may vary slightly
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All preorders final
Limited Time Offer:
These rashguards will disappear faster than a tourist who underestimated a cassowary. When they're gone, they're gone - just like your chances when a 60kg bird decides it doesn't like you.
*"6 feet tall. 12-inch reach. 0 chill."*